Shared Name, Shared Destiny: A Doctor's Unlikely Journey and Fight for Justice
June 17, 2022
- Author
- Mary Elizabeth DeAngelis
By playing an active role, man enters into a spiritual relationship with this world that is quite different: he does not see his existence in isolation. On the contrary, he is united with the lives that surround him; he experiences the destinies of others as his own.
It鈥檚 Thanksgiving in maximum-security.
A young doctor, his wife and their two little kids take their shoes off and a prison guard pats them down. The loud 鈥渃link鈥 of the locking door startles them.
They鈥檙e here to visit Vince Gilmer, once a beloved family physician at a rural North Carolina clinic. The younger doctor, Benjamin Gilmer 鈥92, works at the very same clinic. Despite the last name, they鈥檙e not related.
It鈥檚 the first time Benjamin鈥檚 family is meeting Vince. It鈥檚 also his daughter鈥檚 fourth birthday and she鈥檚 confused about why they鈥檙e spending it here. There鈥檚 no Thanksgiving turkey or stuffing, no birthday cake or balloons鈥攋ust rough gray cinder block walls and thick glass doors.
The older 鈥淒r. Vince鈥 is in what the birthday girl calls a 鈥渢ime out.鈥 He鈥檚 serving a life sentence for murder.
Vince gives them each a big hug and tells them how happy he is to see them. They spend the afternoon playing Uno and feasting on prison vending machine Snickers bars, pork rinds and Mountain Dew. The five of them pose for a 鈥渇amily鈥 picture.
Not your typical holiday tableau. But then, Benjamin Gilmer doesn鈥檛 really do typical.
Seize the Day
鈥淓ventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments and know everything happens for a reason.鈥 鈥擜lbert Schweitzer, M.D.
Benjamin Gilmer always wanted to be a doctor, but never to the exclusion of adventure. His loved ones describe a big-hearted, open-minded visionary with a penchant for magical thinking.
And persistence.
He coasted through an undemanding high school in western Tennessee and arrived at 皇家华人 as an underdog among elite prep school kids. He struggled academically and landed in the 鈥渞eject French class.鈥 He later taught French.
The first college English paper he turned in oozed with a professor鈥檚 red ink. He got a C-minus in the class; he鈥檚 now an acclaimed author.
Numerous medical schools rejected him. He鈥檚 now a respected doctor who also teaches medicine and holds tight to the 鈥渞everence for life鈥 philosophy of the late Albert Schweitzer, a Nobel Peace Prize-winning physician, musician and humanitarian.
Schweitzer started medical school when he was 31; Benjamin Gilmer also took a circuitous route to the practice of medicine.
He had a lot of fun along the way.
In college, he led trips for 皇家华人 Outdoors. He thrived on meeting and bringing people with different backgrounds and personalities together. He loved parties and music. He鈥檚 someone who鈥檇 lobby friends to drive to a Thursday night concert in another city鈥攕ay Indianapolis. If any mentioned the need to be in class or at work on Friday morning, he鈥檇 have an answer like: 鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, we鈥檒l be back in time.鈥
And he always appreciated a good laugh, like when he gathered hallmates for a fake s茅ance鈥攚ith chants and incense鈥攁s a group of prospective students and their parents toured the Belk dormitory.
鈥淚 imagine 皇家华人 lost some potential students when they walked into what looked like a big hippie fest,鈥 his brother Nate Gilmer 鈥96 says wryly. 鈥淭hen again, maybe they gained a few.鈥
Remember the 1980s movie Ferris Bueller鈥檚 Day Off? Ferris is the fun-seeking, you-only-live-once teenager who defies rules set by hapless adults.
鈥淏enjamin channels his inner Ferris,鈥 Nate Gilmer, now a Nashville attorney, says. 鈥淗e鈥檚 this carpe diem guy not completely bound by expectations or what鈥檚 practical. He wants to go to med school but doesn鈥檛 let that stop him from having a great time in college鈥攚hen maybe he should be studying a bit more. Doesn鈥檛 stop him from moving to France after graduation. I was Cameron, always following the rules. I was always annoyed and a little impressed about what he got away with.鈥
Benjamin was the little kid who thought he could fly鈥攄own a steep flight of steps鈥攁nd miraculously landed unharmed at the bottom. (He later took up paragliding.)
鈥淗e was always such a love,鈥 says his mom, Day Kennon. 鈥淗e was always bright and happy and ready for a new adventure. He met people and made friends so easily; he鈥檚 probably the most positive person I鈥檝e ever known.
鈥淲herever Benjamin goes there are these interesting connections, this serendipitous stuff happens along the way,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 like Benjamin has this little golden cloud over his head.鈥
Vince Gilmer鈥檚 mother, Gloria Hitt, sees a halo.
鈥淚f you鈥檙e talking to Dr. Ben,鈥 she says. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e talking to one of God鈥檚 angels.鈥
Wide-eyed World View
鈥淭he true worth of a man is not to be found in man himself, but in the colors and textures that come alive in others.鈥 鈥擜lbert Schweitzer, M.D
College friends describe Benjamin Gilmer and his propensity for landing in unexpected situations in almost mythical terms.
As a 皇家华人 senior, he and another student vied for a post-graduate fellowship in France. The professor figured a coin toss offered a fair solution and flipped a quarter that rolled down a Chambers hallway and landed on heads. Benjamin won.
Years later as he and a group of medical residents ate at the 12 Bones barbecue restaurant in Asheville, then-aspiring presidential candidate Barack Obama stopped in. A photo of Gilmer and Obama talking appeared the next day in the local newspaper.
When he started looking into the mystery of how Vince Gilmer, a beloved doctor, could commit a brutal murder, a well-known National Public Radio show reporter working on a story about coincidences contacted him. In 2013, millions heard the story of 鈥淒r. Gilmer and Mr. Hyde鈥 on NPR鈥檚 This American Life.
In March, Benjamin Gilmer鈥檚 memoir, The Other Doctor Gilmer, came out to rave reviews from critics and bestselling authors such as Atul Gawande (Being Mortal), and Wiley Cash (When Ghosts Come Home). Gilmer鈥檚 book topped the bestseller charts in the mental health and medical mystery categories. And Jennifer Fox, director of HBO鈥檚 The Tale, is adapting a film based on the book.
鈥淚 was always in awe of the things that happened to him,鈥 says Jim Weaver 鈥91, a fellow Asheville doctor and close friend. 鈥淗e鈥檚 got this wide-eyed, open-armed way of viewing life and people, and good things come from that. As one of our colleagues says, 鈥榯he guy doesn鈥檛 have a mean bone in his body.鈥欌
Weaver, who transferred to 皇家华人 as a sophomore, remembers feeling like an outsider before meeting Gilmer.
鈥淗is friendship, and his believing the best of you is a powerful thing when you鈥檙e an awkward college kid, and as an adult,鈥 Weaver says. 鈥淕ood things happen to him because he鈥檚 a really good person. He鈥檚 always going to give people the benefit of the doubt.鈥
Connecting Coincidences
鈥淓very start on an untrodden path is a venture which only in unusual circumstances looks sensible and likely to succeed.鈥 鈥擜lbert Schweitzer, M.D.
Few gave the other Dr. Gilmer that benefit after learning of his crime.
On June 28, 2004, Vince Gilmer picked up his ailing, 60-year-old father from Broughton Hospital, a psychiatric facility in western North Carolina. They took off for a long drive through the Virginia mountains. At some point Vince Gilmer stopped his truck, strangled Dalton Gilmer with a rope, cut his fingers off with pruning shears and dumped the body.
He went to work the next day.
Detectives quickly pegged him as his father鈥檚 killer and arrested him days later as he hid out in a patch of woods. A jury found him guilty of first-degree murder after a bizarre trial where he represented himself and declared himself an expert witness.
Investigators and the presiding judge saw Vince Gilmer as ruthless, deceptive and dangerous. And completely lacking remorse.
鈥淢r. Gilmer, the jury found you to be a cold-blooded killer,鈥 the judge said as he imposed a life sentence. 鈥淚 think the evidence supports that finding.鈥
After his arrest, the clinic he founded closed for a few years, then re-opened as a Mountain Area Health Education Center (MAHEC) facility.
Benjamin Gilmer finished medical school in 2005 with a load of debt and began a family medicine residency with MAHEC in Asheville. In 2009, he learned of an opening at a small rural clinic nearby, got the job offer within an hour of the final interviews, 鈥渁nd started my career as a doctor following in the footsteps of a murderer with my name.鈥
Vince Gilmer and his ex-wife had started the Cane Creek Family Health Center to provide medical care in an underserved area. He lived the life of a benevolent country doctor; patients described him as a big, gentle guy who listened, empathized and cared. People called him Bear, as in teddy bear.
He didn鈥檛 turn people away when they had no insurance or money. At least one patient paid his bills in vegetables. When mice got into the clinic, he set non-lethal traps then freed them outside.
鈥淗e couldn鈥檛 stand it when he saw a butterfly hit by a car,鈥 Vince鈥檚 mom says. 鈥淗e tried to save everything and everybody.鈥
Jason Boyer was in his early 20s when he talked to Vince Gilmer about experiencing depression.
鈥淗e helped me overcome that stigma that so many people have, that you鈥檙e weak if you talk about it,鈥 Boyer says. 鈥淭oo many doctors don鈥檛 understand mental health issues. Bear did. He was a wonderful doctor.鈥
Vince Gilmer saw first-hand how untreated mental illness could ravage a family.
His father, Dalton, a U.S. Army Vietnam War veteran diagnosed with schizophrenia, would snap from calmness to violent, alcohol-fueled rages. Dalton Gilmer tortured his wife, and once after being hospitalized, she ended up in a women鈥檚 shelter. After their divorce, he exhibited delusional behavior, abused drugs, and sometimes ended up on the streets.
Benjamin Gilmer knew about Vince鈥檚 murder conviction before he took the job as his replacement. The doctors who interviewed him warned that the Gilmer name could cause confusion. Indeed, some patients scheduling appointments thought 鈥淒r. Gilmer鈥 was Vince.
As they got to know Benjamin, they opened up about Vince. Like Benjamin, Vince Gilmer had found joy in music, socializing and healing people. Patients talked so fondly about him that Benjamin became fixated. The more he learned, the more he drew connections to Vince.
鈥淚t got to the point,鈥 Benjamin says, 鈥淲here I felt like I was a continuation of him.鈥
More coincidences: Benjamin鈥檚 first medical school rotation was at Broughton Hospital when Dalton Gilmer was a patient. Benjamin was 39 when he started his job at the Cane Creek clinic; Vince was 39 when he killed his father. A few weeks after the murder, Benjamin鈥檚 father, an Episcopal priest, presided over his wedding to Deirdre Smith on a mountaintop just a short drive from where Dalton Gilmer鈥檚 body was found.
Benjamin Gilmer grew terrified that Vince would get out of prison and blame him for taking his job鈥攁fter a patient told him just that. He lost sleep, compulsively checked locked windows and doors and considered buying a gun. Some friends and family members warned him that he was taking a big risk.
鈥淕et out of there,鈥 Benjamin Gilmer recalls his brother Barrett Gilmer 鈥00 urging him. 鈥淢ove to Charlotte or Nashville鈥hink about your future. Think about your family. You need to put some serious distance between yourself and him鈥攏ow.鈥
Instead, Benjamin Gilmer鈥檚 fears evolved into what鈥檚 become a decade-long journey to help Vince.
Sarah Koenig, then a reporter/producer with This American Life, heard about the two Dr. Gilmers from Benjamin鈥檚 cousin. In 2012, she and Benjamin Gilmer joined forces in what turned into an investigation of why Vince killed his father.
They visited him in prison, which started ongoing conversations. Benjamin came to believe that Vince, who appeared battered, confused and in desperate need of treatment, belonged in a hospital, not prison.
鈥淗e鈥檚 always had an altruistic approach to life. He follows his impulses,鈥 says Benjamin鈥檚 father, Lyonel Gilmer. 鈥淪omething will gnaw and gnaw at him until he does what he feels like he needs to do. It would have been simple for him to visit Vince and end it there. But he doesn鈥檛 have it in him to walk away from something like that.鈥
That doggedness got results.
鈥淚t was his curiosity and persistence and compassion that led to a diagnosis for Vince,鈥 says Koenig, now a producer of the popular 鈥淪erial鈥 podcast. 鈥淎fter a certain point I was more or less ready to kind of shrug and say, 鈥業 guess we鈥檒l never know.鈥 Benjamin鈥攈e does not take 鈥業 guess we鈥檒l never know鈥 for an answer.鈥欌
Benjamin details his research in The Other Dr. Gilmer, where he reveals how trauma from years of abuse combined with the effects of an undiagnosed, rare disease, could have led to Vince鈥檚 actions. Huntington鈥檚, an inherited neurodegenerative disease, causes the progressive breakdown of nerve cells in the brain鈥攖here is no cure.
After eight years of pursuing multiple clemency appeals, in January, then-departing Virginia Governor Ralph Northam, who originally denied Benjamin and a legal team鈥檚 pleas to pardon Vince Gilmer, changed his mind. Perhaps it was after reading an early copy of The Other Dr. Gilmer?
Benjamin Gilmer now serves as Vince Gilmer鈥檚 legal guardian and is seeking a mental health facility that can treat him. Despite the governor鈥檚 pardon, Vince remains in prison.
Benjamin Gilmer hopes that his book will help people see that all humans share a mutual 鈥渃ognitive fallibility.鈥 He says understanding that is essential for reframing crime and punishment. He believes society should look upstream and 鈥渉eal crime.鈥
Taking the Roundabout Route
鈥淭he result of the voyage does not depend on the speed of the ship, but on whether or not it keeps a true course.鈥 鈥擜lbert Schweitzer, M.D.
Benjamin Gilmer didn鈥檛 follow the traditional straight and focused path to becoming a doctor, nor to being the kind of doctor he is today.
His parents divorced when he was four. Lyonel Gilmer later served as the chaplain at what鈥檚 now Atrium Health Carolinas Medical Center in Charlotte. Benjamin worked high school summers there, first in the cafeteria, then as an emergency department assistant. During and after college, he worked as a neurotoxicology research assistant.
Fresh out of 皇家华人, he spent a year on a French government fellowship teaching high school in Paris. He didn鈥檛 want to leave when that ended and convinced program leaders鈥攊n fluent French鈥攖o let him teach another year.
He toured Europe on a motorcycle, made friends from around the world, and took medical school classes at the Sorbonne. He returned to the United States and taught high school French and neurobiology in Charlotte.
Fun aside, an underlying seriousness existed.
He had a fascination with the human brain and conducted Alzheimer鈥檚 disease research at 皇家华人 with Julio Ramirez, R. Stuart Dickson Professor of Psychology. He later earned a master鈥檚 degree in neurotoxicology from UNC Charlotte and worked in research with former North Carolina Governor Jim Martin 鈥57. (Martin, who also once taught chemistry at 皇家华人, later worked for the hospital system.)
Gilmer majored in neurobiology, with concentrations in French and religion. Science classes and research gave him a strong foundation for a medical career. He says 皇家华人鈥檚 emphasis on a broad liberal arts experience opened the world to him: 鈥淚t was a moral education that has informed me deeply.鈥
He had a strong curiosity about different cultures, traditions and beliefs.
鈥淗e was a joy to teach,鈥 says Bill Mahony, Charles A. Dana Professor of Religion. 鈥淗e had a great sense of humor, this sort of bemusement. And always this sense of wonderment鈥攖hat 鈥榗an we talk a little more about this, can we go deeper鈥?
鈥淗e鈥檚 fascinated with people and their ideas鈥攈e listens with real gentleness, never harshness. He was always very empathetic, and very compassionate. I could see that in him as a student and now as a doctor, I see that even more deeply.鈥
Getting into medical school came after multiple rejections, and two rounds of MCATS and essays. He started East Carolina鈥檚 Brody School of Medicine at 32.
In his third year of medical school, he was awarded an International Albert Schweitzer Fellowship in Gabon, Africa. He treated some of the world鈥檚 most poverty-stricken people for conditions ranging from HIV to cancer; malaria to malnutrition; and machete wounds to crocodile bites. After seeing countless children die from conditions of poverty and malaria, he felt helpless鈥攁nd angry.
鈥淭he child died at the age of four because he was born a Gabonais; he had absolutely no choice in the outcome,鈥 he wrote about one case. 鈥淗ow long until we realize that healthcare is not a privilege but a basic human right?鈥
He left Gabon determined to become a primary care doctor in an underserved community.
Channeling Schweitzer
鈥淪earch and see if there is not some place where you can invest your humanity.鈥 鈥擜lbert Schweitzer, M.D.
Now a seasoned doctor, Benjamin Gilmer visits 皇家华人 each spring to recruit students to join him in rural Honduras for a mission called Shoulder to Shoulder, which he has been part of since 2005.
皇家华人 students work alongside medical students and family medicine doctors, who hope to inspire them to pursue primary care.
He had just talked with 皇家华人 students in March of 2020 when they learned the college was sending them home because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Moments later, Gilmer got a call letting him know that publishing giant Penguin Random House wanted his book.
鈥淚 went out and laid in the grass in front of Chambers with joyous tears,鈥 he says. 鈥淣ot being able to curtail my excitement, I ran into Chambers to share the news with Bill Mahony. It was a magical moment.鈥
He returned to campus this spring, coupling the recruiting visit with an author event on campus and at Main Street Books in 皇家华人.
As a doctor, he wants to be where he鈥檚 most needed. As an author, he鈥檚 striving to expose and fix what he sees as the unconscionable warehousing of the mentally ill in America鈥檚 prisons.
鈥淗is whole career has been devoted to treating people in underserved communities,鈥 Deirdre Smith Gilmer says. 鈥淲e鈥檙e never going to be wealthy from his medical career鈥攕ervice is a really big component for us.鈥
The couple met when both taught in the summers at the N.C. Governor鈥檚 School in Winston-Salem. She was a professional modern dancer in New York and toying with the idea of moving to France.
鈥淚 had my first full conversation in French with Benjamin,鈥 she says, 鈥渁nd was immediately smitten.鈥
Their friendship turned to dating and a marriage that鈥檚 survived medical school, residency, children and a busy doctor鈥檚 heavy workload. Not to mention the countless hours he鈥檚 spent pursuing justice for Vince, and the book he wrote to do that.
鈥淭hat was definitely a hard time for our family,鈥 Deirdre says. 鈥淓ven though I love Vince and would never have asked Benjamin to give up, there have been moments of conflict. But this is who Benjamin is. As a doctor, he鈥檚 so approachable and humble with his patients, he creates relationships. He sees the whole person rather than just the problem they may be having.鈥
Jason Boyer, once Vince Gilmer鈥檚 patient, is now Benjamin鈥檚.
鈥淗e鈥檚 wonderful,鈥 the 41-year-old machinist says. 鈥淏oth doctors are above and beyond excellent, they care so much. Both listen so well, you walk out of there feeling so much better, and like everything is going to be okay. That鈥檚 something you can鈥檛 say about a lot of doctors, and it鈥檚 such a comfort.鈥
Deirdre Smith Gilmer sees how hard Benjamin works鈥攁s an advocate for his patients鈥攁nd for Vince. Through setbacks, stressful times and disappointments, he picks himself back up, she says.
鈥淗e鈥檚 always super positive and optimistic, that鈥檚 how he鈥檚 survived,鈥 she says. 鈥淗e rolls with things, and he gets over them.鈥
The two are active in the Asheville community. Deirdre is a yoga instructor whose practice focuses on healing. Their son Kai is now 14; and daughter, Luya, 12. The kids call Vince Gilmer 鈥淯ncle Vince.鈥
Schweitzer鈥檚 ghost hovers.
Schweitzer held concerts to raise money for medical equipment and care in rural, impoverished Africa. Every year the Gilmers throw a music festival in their back yard, raising money for Shoulder to Shoulder. Benjamin Gilmer鈥檚 family joins him, his MAHEC colleagues and students on the annual service trip to Honduras.
Hundreds of people attend the Gilmers鈥 festival. Musicians have included folk singer Sarah Lee Guthrie (Woody鈥檚 granddaughter and Arlo鈥檚 daughter) and The Chatham County Line.
鈥淚 can鈥檛 imagine with everything else he鈥檚 been involved in pulling something like that off,鈥 says friend Mollie Harrington Weaver 鈥90, a pediatrician. 鈥淏ut Benjamin has this way of thinking.
鈥淚t鈥檚 like, 鈥榚verything will be fine, we鈥檒l get some food trucks and beer and call Bob Dylan to see if he鈥檚 free.鈥 Benjamin鈥檚 the dreamer, his mind doesn鈥檛 go to barriers, it鈥檚 always 鈥榳hy not? Do it, don鈥檛 worry about what might get in the way and just figure out how to make it happen.鈥欌
And Vince鈥檚 mom is grateful for that.
鈥淭his whole thing has been like living in a nightmare,鈥 Hitt says. 鈥淒r. Ben has been a miracle to us, he has worked so hard to help Vince. He鈥檚 become part of our family.
鈥淰ince is so glad he鈥檚 at the clinic; Vince loved his patients, and Ben is the same way,鈥 she says. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e both very caring, and they both want the world to be a better place.鈥
This article was originally published in the Spring/Summer 2022 print issue of the 皇家华人 Journal Magazine; for more, please see the 皇家华人 Journal section of our website.