Beautiful Life: Love, Friendship and Loss Inspire Legacy of International Adventure
November 4, 2019
- Author
- Mary Elizabeth DeAngelis
Stephen Keller would have loved a Jackson Allen road trip.
And Allen says he鈥檒l always treasure his Keller-inspired adventures.
Allen spent the past year studying in Germany and rocking his way through Europe; playing his harmonica at blues clubs in exchange for concert tickets, meals and a place to crash.
Keller didn鈥檛 play an instrument and couldn鈥檛 carry a tune, but appreciated music and sang his heart out anyway. Like Allen, he traveled through Europe soaking up as much music, food, culture and fun as time allowed.
Twenty-five years ago, Keller鈥檚 journey led him to Greece and the beautiful young woman he鈥檇 fallen in love with. He embraced his life there and its laid-back pace: Teaching, learning and savoring each experience; and feeling grateful for his family, friends and hard-won health.
But health, like life, comes without a warranty. And the illness that Keller beat as a teenager played a role in his death as a young man.
Allen, from 皇家华人鈥檚 class of 2020, never met Keller, a 1994 graduate. But they鈥檙e eternally linked through a community that spans from 皇家华人 to Germany to Greece, with branches across the United States and abroad.
For more than a decade, 皇家华人 students like Allen have embarked on adventures of a lifetime because people who loved Keller figured that鈥檚 exactly what he鈥檇 want for them.
The Stephen W. Keller Memorial Scholarship comes with few rules: Travel abroad and immerse yourself in another culture. Foster international friendships. And correspond with and try to visit Keller鈥檚 widow and children, who live in a picturesque coastal town in Greece, serve fresh, local food and welcome 皇家华人 travelers like long-lost family members.
鈥淚t鈥檚 meant for somebody more concerned about the journey than the destination,鈥 says Jon Morris 鈥94, a close friend of Keller鈥檚 and one of the scholarship鈥檚 creators. 鈥淪omeone who has a deep gratitude for life, and doesn鈥檛 approach a situation with judgment, but with wonder. That would capture Steve.
鈥淛ackson鈥攑laying his way through Europe鈥攈as made the most of the experience,鈥 Morris says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 so important to appreciate this amazing thing that life is.
鈥淚t鈥檚 transient. You鈥檙e never going to be 21 again.鈥
Against the Odds
As the youngest of Alice and George Keller鈥檚 three children, Stephen Keller spent his earliest days in a crib in the family鈥檚 busy Aberdeen, Maryland, living room, which set him up for a lifetime of sociability. He collected friends everywhere, from school to ballfields to church and summer camp.
In middle school, he and his friends held 鈥渃lub鈥 meetings that often ended as sleepovers. His parents didn鈥檛 find out until much later that the boys would sneak out through their kitchen 鈥渄oggie door鈥 for late night outdoor adventures.
鈥淪tephen lived by the doctrine that you don鈥檛 ask for permission, but ask for forgiveness,鈥 George Keller says. His generous, easy-going nature made it difficult to stay angry.
鈥淗e loved people, he was a happy person and loved being in the middle of everything,鈥 Alice Keller says. 鈥淗e was always willing to help out with whatever would help someone else. And he never grew out of that.鈥
He played volleyball and lacrosse in high school. During a sports physical before his junior year his doctor discovered an irregular heart beat and elevated blood pressure. More tests and a visit with a specialist revealed the grim diagnosis of chronic myelogenous leukemia. He would need a bone marrow transplant to live.
Keller didn鈥檛 want people to pity him, so he kept his condition quiet and asked his family to do the same. It was a scary time as his siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents got tested as potential donors. None were a match. The odds of finding a non-related donor were about one in 20,000, according to a Johns Hopkins University Hospital article about Keller.
Railway parts supplier Dennis Cypihot was on a business trip with time to kill when he stopped at a Vancouver clinic to give blood and saw a bone marrow donor registration sign. Cypihot, then 32, donated blood, signed up for the registry and flew home. A year later he got the request, underwent the procedure to remove some of his bone marrow and 鈥渁 month or two passed and I wondered if it had been worth it.鈥
It was. Keller received Cypihot鈥檚 bone marrow during a successful transplant at Johns Hopkins. When Cypihot later learned that his bone marrow had saved a teenager鈥檚 life, 鈥淚 got down on my knees and said 鈥楾hank God this helped someone live,鈥欌 Cypihot says. 鈥淚t was a such a tremendous feeling.鈥
After the transplant, Keller spent three months in the hospital before heading home. Infection was a huge risk, so he went out only for doctors鈥 appointments and to work for a neighbor鈥檚 home-based travel company.
His parents say he remained cheerful, hopeful and grateful.
He learned how to cook鈥攐nce taking over the kitchen for an ambitious version of venison stew. He watched 鈥淛eopardy!鈥 with his dad, competing to devise the best betting strategies for Final Jeopardy! And he often wore a red plaid flannel 鈥渓umberjack鈥 shirt to honor the western Canadian Cypihot, who became a long-distance, lifelong friend.
Day by Day
Keller鈥檚 recovery postponed his start at 皇家华人, but by fall of 1990 he was healthy and on campus, where he made instant friends, joined the Phi Delta Theta fraternity, 鈥淎nd loved every bit of it,鈥 Alice Keller says.
He eagerly helped lead a new campus effort to recruit students for the national bone marrow registry. Fellow leukemia survivor David Lindsay and his class of 1993 friends founded 皇家华人鈥檚 Project Life and it became a mission for Keller, who put in long hours helping with recruitment drives and fundraisers. Lindsay later founded Project Life Movement, a successful non-profit with the same goal.
鈥淲e shared that very distinct bond of needing a bone marrow transplant鈥攊t changed both of our lives forever,鈥 Lindsay says. 鈥淚 remember Steve鈥檚 passion鈥攈e was a huge part of making Project Life a successful organization that has sustained itself for all these years.鈥
Keller majored in German and spent his junior year abroad in Wurzburg, Germany, which set his life on a new trajectory. He attended the Julius-Maximilians-Universit盲t zu W眉rzburg and lived in the Haus Berlin dormitory, forming close friendships with 皇家华人 classmates and students from Italy, Spain, England and other countries.
They stayed up late talking, laughing, drinking beer, playing guitar and belting out classics like 鈥淎merican Pie鈥 and 鈥淥nly the Lonely.鈥 Keller served as the road trip organizer, piling friends into a rambling Volkswagen van for lively鈥攕ometimes harrowing鈥攋aunts to Spain, the Czech Republic, Poland and Morocco.
When Elena Chatziliadou recently shared this picture from college days, it inspired an email group chat and talk of a reunion among friends who became close while studying abroad in Wurzburg, Germany. The crew was on its way to Cologne for Fasching, Germany鈥檚 version of Mardis Gras, in February of 1993 when Steve Keller stopped his rambling old Volkswagen van to let his passengers out. The van had many quirks, including a tricky side door, which Keller accidentally ripped off its hinges, leaving them temporarily stuck and laughing hysterically on a rural roadside. Keller eventually fixed the door and they made it to Cologne. 鈥淎ll photos after arrival in Cologne are classified,鈥 says Jon Morris.
On a trip to Cologne, Keller stopped the vintage van on a rural roadside to let some of his passengers relieve themselves. When he opened the sliding door (which only worked from the outside) he accidentally ripped it off its tracks.
鈥淲e rolled out of the van, scarcely able to control our guffaws or bladders,鈥 says Morris, who still laughs hard at the memory. 鈥淪teve stood there frozen with a VW van door in his hand. It took a good 15 minutes for everyone to settle down and Steve graciously waited for us to collect ourselves.鈥
Keller fixed the door and the trip continued.
鈥淚t was one of the greatest years of my life,鈥 says Morris, now a commercial real estate developer in Charlotte. 鈥淲e were young and blissfully ignorant of our future responsibilities, which freed us to learn, travel, sing, talk, eat, dance and live life as it happened. We were all about enjoying the experience day by day.鈥
Charles A. Dana Professor of German Studies Scott Denham was early in his career when he brought his wife, Cathy, and their baby and toddler to Wurzburg with the 皇家华人 students. He taught as a visiting professor and also served as their counselor and advisor. Denham got to know the students well during weekly Kaffee und Kuchen (coffee and cake) and takeout Chinese dinners he and Cathy hosted at their tiny, sixth-floor apartment.
鈥淪teve was friendly, wonderfully goofy, and really committed to learning new things in a new place,鈥 Denham says. 鈥淗e had this sweet smile and was always up and ready for anything. I remember Steve and Jon being really kind to our daughters, Evelyn and Beatrice, who loved when the students came over.鈥
It was in Germany where Keller met Elena Chatziliadou, an exchange student from Xanthi, Greece. She moved into Haus Berlin that spring and became friends with the group. He fell fast and hard: 鈥淗e was completely smitten,鈥 Morris says.
Chatziliadou says she was, too.
鈥淗is great humor, honesty, friendliness, kindness, caring nature, understanding, laugh and so many other things made me fall in love with him,鈥 she says. 鈥淚 knew he was the one.鈥
When his studies in Germany ended that July, Keller went to Greece to meet Chatziliadou鈥檚 family and friends. They hit it off and he returned to the United States to begin his final year at 皇家华人 as a man in love.
鈥淭hat was, without exception before or since, and after all these years, the most I have ever laughed on a journey, anywhere, ever,鈥 McNaught wrote to the group.
And wistfully, from Morris:
鈥淪teve keeps showing up in our lives, just when he needs to. He鈥檚 that kind of guy.鈥
Yin and Yang
The road trips continued.
Keller drove an Econoline van decorated for concerts, festivals, and on one fall weekend, a Baltimore Orioles game and Maryland crab-eating excursion.
The van had giant oriole painted on the side. While most of his 皇家华人 friends slept during the late-night trip to Baltimore, Keller drove and his classmate and close friend Michael Savona rode up front. They stopped for gas and had been driving for a while when they saw a 鈥淲elcome to North Carolina鈥 sign. They鈥檇 gone south instead of north.
Keller grinned, winked at Savona and gave the 鈥淪hush,鈥 signal toward the sleeping passengers, then turned around at the next exit.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 the kind of guy he was,鈥 says Savona, a Vanderbilt University Hospital oncologist whose specialty in leukemia research and treatment was inspired by Keller. 鈥淗is blood pressure rarely rose. He really knew how to handle situations in a way most of us envy. He was just a joy to be around. He was so happy and when you were with him, you couldn鈥檛 help but be happy. I loved him like a brother.鈥
Later that fall, Chatziliadou came to 皇家华人 and stayed at the house Keller and Savona shared. She studied for her Greek law degree while they went to classes. Where Keller was tall and would talk to anyone, she was petite and initially shy in the new environment:
鈥淚t took me a few weeks to get to know her, and then I realized she was the sweetest person鈥擨 loved her, too,鈥 Savona says. 鈥淭hey were the perfect Yin and Yang.鈥
鈥淎s different as they were, they were made for each other,鈥 Morris agrees.
Keller brought her home to Maryland to meet his family and spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with them.
鈥淪he was wonderful,鈥 Alice Keller says. 鈥淪he fit right in, she pitched right in and we loved her.鈥
鈥淪he was lovely, strong, and smart and we thought he had very good taste,鈥 George Keller adds.
When their son graduated from 皇家华人 the following spring, they bought him a one-way plane ticket to Greece.
Rich Life
He moved to Chatziliadou鈥檚 Xanthi hometown, where she was establishing a law practice. Keller taught English at a private school and also tutored. He鈥檇 stop every morning to have coffee with Chatziliadou鈥檚 grandmother, 鈥淵iaYia,鈥 who spoke no English, 鈥渁nd did a wonderful job of making him sound Greek,鈥 Alice Keller says.
Over summer breaks the couple would visit his family and friends in the United States, who in turn made Xanthi their favored travel destination.
鈥淲hat charmed us the most was that her parents and grandparents and whole family took him in as if he were another son,鈥 George Keller says. 鈥淎nd then they took us in.鈥
In 1998, the two families and friends gathered on a blazing hot June day in a Xanthi cathedral with no air conditioning for a traditional Greek Orthodox wedding that lasted nearly two hours.
The celebration that followed was anything but stuffy, with guests dancing up to the time the local restaurants opened for breakfast the next morning.
鈥淥ur wedding party was a big hit in town, people talked about it for years,鈥 Chatziliadou says. 鈥淢any, many family and friends came from Greece and around the world, and we had a 鈥楤ig Fat Greek Wedding,鈥 indeed.鈥欌
鈥淚t was insane, it was just this big party, we were dancing in a big circle,鈥 Morris says. 鈥淭he town was so open to us, everyone was so hospitable and welcoming. It was so much fun.鈥
Keller knew everyone in town and kids passing on the street would stop to say hi to 鈥淢r. Steve.鈥 He insisted that American visitors learn the proper Greek way and pronunciation to order iced coffee: 鈥淔rappe glico me gala,鈥濃攕weet with milk. They鈥檇 spend hot afternoons sipping frappes, 鈥渢alking about nothing,鈥 Savona says.
鈥淗e was truly an Epicurean, Carpe Diem kind of guy. When everyone else got out of college and was all about accomplishing the next thing or climbing the ladder, Steve was teaching English in Greece and was the richest one of all.鈥
Two years after the wedding, the Chatziliadou-Kellers celebrated the birth of a healthy son, George. Keller reveled in fatherhood and formed an inseparable bond with his son, waking up for late night feedings, dressing in matching Halloween costumes and holding him close as they鈥檇 wade in the ocean. In the summer of 2003, the couple was thrilled to learn they were having another baby.
Family Bond
He never got to see his daughter.
In the fall of 2003, Keller developed a severe headache with a high fever that sent him to the hospital and into a coma. The diagnosis was bacterial meningitis. As a leukemia patient before his bone marrow transplant, his spleen had ruptured, which limited his body鈥檚 ability to clear harmful bacteria.
The Kellers headed to Greece immediately, talking and praying by his bedside with Chatziliadou and her family. He died several weeks later at the age of 32. A somber group of family and friends returned to Greece for a funeral there, and later at his childhood church in Maryland. Many of his college friends also gathered for a memorial service at 皇家华人.
In March of 2004, Katherine Alice was born.
The vast distance could have made some families grow apart. But the Kellers traveled to Greece to welcome their new granddaughter and continued to visit regularly; and Chatziliadou and the children would come to the United States to see them. To this day, the Kellers call Chatziliadou鈥檚 extended clan 鈥渙ur Greek family.鈥
George is now 18 and Katherine Alice is 15. Every summer they spend a few weeks with their American grandparents in Asheville, North Carolina, and visit their dad鈥檚 sister, Karen Thomas, brother David, and cousins who live in Pennsylvania and the Washington, D.C. area. In between, they talk through face-to-face web apps.
George is a sophomore at the University of Crete and plans to become an astrophysicist鈥攁 nod to his Keller grandfather, a retired physicist. Katherine Alice, 15, is a 10th-grader who loves math. Both hope to study abroad. George likes Johns Hopkins University. Katherine Alice has three potential colleges on her list: New York University, Georgetown and 皇家华人. Both speak Greek, and thanks to tutors, fluent English.
While American visitors rave about the food in Xanthi, George and Katherine Alice have a teenage perspective. They prefer the vast selection of barbecue, burgers, tacos, Chinese food and pizza the United States offers.
They like spending time with their American relatives and hearing stories about their father. They鈥檝e also watched old home movies and learned more from people who knew him, including Cypihot, the bone marrow donor, who calls and sends Christmas and birthday cards and presents. While they have no memory of their father, they know this, George says:
鈥淗e was very kind, and very pleasant to whoever he met, and he loved us very much.鈥
The Keller Fellers
After his death, Keller鈥檚 devastated friends, including Morris and Savona, established a memorial at 皇家华人.
Working with Denham, they crafted a scholarship that gives students studying abroad in German or classics programs enough money to extend their travel beyond the academic year. Each 鈥淜eller Feller鈥 receives about $3,000, which gives them anywhere from a few weeks to a few months of extra travel.
Allen, a 2019 Keller Feller and German Studies major, attended Albert Ludwig University of Freiburg. The scholarship allowed Allen to immerse himself in the European blues music scene. He鈥檚 played drums since he was eight, and at 14 picked up the harmonica and has jammed in Atlanta blues clubs since high school.
In Europe, he saw and performed with some of his favorite musicians, including the Chicago-based Kilborn Alley Blues Band. He considers German blues guitarist Kai Strauss a friend, and met and talked music with blues stars like Curtis Salgado.
鈥淚t was a very rewarding, life-changing experience,鈥 Allen says. 鈥淚t opened up the European music scene to me鈥擨 never realized how vibrant it was. I also met some great friends whose couches I can sleep on if I鈥檓 passing through.鈥
Allen visited Chatziliadou, Katherine Alice, George and their extended family in Greece. They toured Thessaloniki before heading to Xanthi, where the family has a nearby beach house.
鈥淚 talked to Elena鈥檚 parents who spoke no English, and were very warm and welcoming. George and Katherine translated. Elena鈥檚 mom cooked fresh vegetables from the garden and she made these really good grilled oyster mushrooms with spices and balsamic vinegar and lemon juice,鈥欌 Allen says. 鈥淲hen I got home, I made it for my parents and they loved it.
鈥淚t was so pleasant,鈥 he says. 鈥淚鈥檓 so grateful鈥攁nd I got a great feel for what kind of person Steve Keller was.鈥
Other Keller Fellers describe their journeys as once-in-a-lifetime special.
Emma Cardwell 鈥17, spent a semester abroad with the Duke in Berlin program and used the scholarship to travel to Greece, Italy, Spain, Ireland and England.
鈥淚t was such a huge growth experience, I had some guidance but I largely planned it by myself and traveled by myself, then met friends along the way,鈥 Cardwell says. She especially loved her time in Xanthi, where her hosts were 鈥渟o warm, open, welcoming and full of life and energy.鈥
Chatziliadou brought Cardwell to the famous Xanthi Bazaar, a traditional Greek flea and food market. They sat on the beach talking about Germany and 皇家华人 and Chatziliadou鈥檚 fond memories of both places. They talked about how Keller had embraced Greek culture and become a beloved member of the community.
鈥淓ven though I wasn鈥檛 a family member, I felt like one,鈥 says Cardwell, who later wrote about that trip: 鈥淭here is no room to worry when you have places to see and cultures to dive into.鈥
Cardwell taught English in Austria after graduation. She now lives in the Philadelphia area and recently became director of programs at the American Association of Teachers of German.
She keeps in touch with Chatziliadou through emails, Facebook and Christmas cards. She says the couple鈥檚 story is one of the most beautiful she鈥檚 ever heard:
鈥淭raveling like that and making friendships and falling in love鈥攖hat鈥檚 the stuff that makes life worth living.鈥
皇家华人 Spirit
Chatziliadou said that she and her family cherish their time with the Keller Fellers.
鈥淭hey bring some of the 皇家华人 spirit here to us every year,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t helps us keep our bonds with our friends, professors and 皇家华人 family that always had such a special place in Steve鈥檚 heart.鈥
Nicole Keroack, from the class of 2008, was the first Keller Feller. She continued traveling on her own after spending a semester in Europe with a 皇家华人 contingent of 20, touring architectural sites in Italy, Germany, Tunisia and Greece.
Before the trip, she met Keller鈥檚 friends and parents at a dinner hosted by Denham.
鈥淗is friends stressed that this was the chance for adventure and misadventure鈥攊t sounds like Steve had a few鈥攁nd it gave me the opportunity to wander,鈥 Keroack says. 鈥淚 probably would have just gone home if I didn鈥檛 get the scholarship. It was so empowering to travel by myself in a foreign country. This was the thing that made my 皇家华人 experience so different and cool.鈥
She befriended and traveled with two German students, toured former concentration camps and attended the renowned Basel art show in Switzerland. By the time she arrived in Xanthi, she was exhausted.
鈥淚t was such a relief to get there, after all the nights in hostels and hotels, to be in someone鈥檚 house was so nice,鈥 Keroack says. 鈥淓lena and her whole family welcomed me and treated me like a long-lost cousin. There were so many conversations and so much food鈥攊t was 鈥楴icole, you have to try this,鈥 and I tasted all kinds of food I鈥檇 never eaten before.鈥
Katherine Alice, who was three at the time, offered Keroack some beauty tips. 鈥淚 had been traveling and not wearing any makeup, and she gave me a makeover. It was so precious.鈥
Keroack, now an architect in Washington, D.C., says that visit to Greece remains one of her best memories.
鈥淓lena did not know me, and I was met with total warmth and open arms all because her husband went to school with these guys who鈥檇 sent me there,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t was like six degrees of separation鈥攁ll of the dots connected.
鈥淚t was magical.鈥